LGBTQIAP+ Stuff

Walking at Twilight

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My eyes seek twilight

Movement in spite of stillness

Hushed breath, wind through grass

— Kate McKinney

Into darkness

I pour myself

Into shadows of blue and deep greens

As though someone

just out of reach

reaches for me

— Kate McKinney

I’ve been sick for almost two weeks, and I’m just beginning to feel better. Early in my illness I took a very slow walk in the twilight just outside my home. A small voice in my head chided me for bringing my camera, saying I wouldn’t get any “good” pictures at this time of day. But I’m glad my curious, creative soul won out because it was one of the most nurturing things I did for myself during this time. To look for the beauty has always been my way of survival. To listen to the quiet, to notice what can so often be missed. It gives back to me—this looking, this noticing. It feeds my being.

It reminds me of a moment that happens in my newly released girl-meets-girl YA verse novel, When to Hold On, when the main characters, Brynn and Zoe, take a walk to the edge of where a restored prairie begins.

It is at the edge of town. A moment on the edge of their relationship. In the darkness, there is light. In the quiet, there are sounds. Brynn shares this with Zoe, and they discover a closeness fragile and new. While the thought of kissing this girl she’s had a crush on does cross Brynn’s mind, it is far more important to make space for Zoe in her world. To invite her into the quiet and very private space she usually keeps. It is that connection in that moment that brings them closer.

I encourage you, dear reader, to stay curious and keep looking, keep listening. May you find something in the twilight that feeds your soul.

You can read more about When to Hold On at this page and can support indie bookstores by ordering a copy through Bookshop.org.

Being In Between

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There’s a lot to talk about in regards to gender identity, gender expression, sexual attraction, and romantic attraction. I’m so grateful to the many wonderful people that continue this multi-faceted conversation.

Here is a great site that uses a “Genderbread Person” graphic as “a teaching tool for breaking down the big concept of gender into bite-sized, digestible pieces.”

Spectrums are used as a metaphor to explain further, because people are not always this or that. Sometimes they’re somewhere in between. People can be anywhere on a spectrum and even change over time. And even this is just the tip of the iceberg as far as this discussion goes.

As for me, I’m somewhere in between. As a kid growing up during the 1980s and 1990s, I didn’t have the language to talk about what I was feeling. No one around me seemed to be having the same feelings as me, and they certainly didn’t seem interested in talking about them. It left me feeling confused, lonely, and invisible. I would’ve really appreciated having a resource like Queer Kid Stuff.

Queer Kid Stuff, founded by Lindsay “Lindz” Amer in 2015, is an edutainment company that brings LGBTQ+ and social justice media to kids and families. They make videos, podcasts, newsletters, and so much more!

One of their core values is to be “Joy-Full.” This is what they write:

“Enfolding our work in a blanket of joy. Celebrating and encouraging the beautiful uniqueness of LGBTQ+ people while recognizing that queer joy is born of queer suffering. Choosing joy in the face of hardship as a radical act against hate and systemic oppression. Shifting the notion that it is hard to be queer toward the universal truth of the collective joy of the LGBTQ+ community.”

Yes, let’s make that shift.

Another helpful resource on Queer Kid Stuff is their new Rainbow Parenting podcast. Their first episode talks about many things; one part discusses the importance of Inner Child Healing.

It reminded me of one of the reasons I wrote When to Hold On. When I was growing up, I remember finding only one book on the library bookshelf that involved two girls falling in love. Never mind the other categories within the LGBTQ+ umbrella. There was a huge lack of representation. Fortunately, in the last 20+ years, the number of books with LGBTQ+ characters and books written by LGBTQ+ authors has grown, but we need more. If you’re looking for your next young adult book to read, check out the YA list on LGBTQ Reads, a site dedicated to promoting curated LGBTQIAP+ literature for all ages, run by author and blogger Dahlia Adler.