My eyes seek twilight

Movement in spite of stillness

Hushed breath, wind through grass

— Kate McKinney

Into darkness

I pour myself

Into shadows of blue and deep greens

As though someone

just out of reach

reaches for me

— Kate McKinney

I’ve been sick for almost two weeks, and I’m just beginning to feel better. Early in my illness I took a very slow walk in the twilight just outside my home. A small voice in my head chided me for bringing my camera, saying I wouldn’t get any “good” pictures at this time of day. But I’m glad my curious, creative soul won out because it was one of the most nurturing things I did for myself during this time. To look for the beauty has always been my way of survival. To listen to the quiet, to notice what can so often be missed. It gives back to me—this looking, this noticing. It feeds my being.

It reminds me of a moment that happens in my newly released girl-meets-girl YA verse novel, When to Hold On, when the main characters, Brynn and Zoe, take a walk to the edge of where a restored prairie begins.

It is at the edge of town. A moment on the edge of their relationship. In the darkness, there is light. In the quiet, there are sounds. Brynn shares this with Zoe, and they discover a closeness fragile and new. While the thought of kissing this girl she’s had a crush on does cross Brynn’s mind, it is far more important to make space for Zoe in her world. To invite her into the quiet and very private space she usually keeps. It is that connection in that moment that brings them closer.

I encourage you, dear reader, to stay curious and keep looking, keep listening. May you find something in the twilight that feeds your soul.

You can read more about When to Hold On at this page and can support indie bookstores by ordering a copy through Bookshop.org.